Are you being 'good' or being real?
If you are sensitive and deeply attuned to the energies around you, you naturally track your environment closely, noticing subtleties others might miss—it’s simply part of who you are.
This sensitivity has likely made you an expert at adapting, knowing how to be “good” for others. But when being kind and accommodating turns into a mask to hide yourself behind, the weight of unspoken emotions begins to take its toll. Over time, your true self gets buried beneath layers of tension, like a pressure cooker: leaving you feeling restless, anxious, self-critical, or even struggling with unexplained physical pain.
I am here to help you unravel the masks and burdens you’ve outgrown so you can step fully into the space that was always meant for you. Let’s quiet the inner critic, release the pressure, and allow your body to rediscover what true safety feels like—not through perfection, but through authenticity.
If I could grant you a wish it would be that you never have to look to another person to make sure that it is okay to be yourself.
The 'good' person patterns
How do you shape yourself to fit others’ expectations?
- Smiling and agreeing, even when you don’t feel like it.
- Avoiding conflict by staying quiet or holding back.
- Putting others’ needs before your own, even at a cost.
- Suppressing emotions to keep the peace.
- Feeling responsible for others’ emotions or moods.
- Over-apologizing or minimizing your own needs.
- Playing the helper or fixer, even when exhausted.
- Feeling guilty for setting boundaries or saying no.
Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they've met themselves. This is the heart of clarity.
The hidden cost of people-pleasing
- Chronic tension and pain. Persistent tightness in the neck, shoulders, or back can be a sign of deep-seated holding patterns. Unresolved emotional strain often manifests as ongoing physical discomfort without an apparent medical cause.
- Self-doubt. When your true self is buried beneath layers of pain, you lose a foundational sense of trust.
- Anxiety. Inner tension can create a constant sense of restlessness or agitation, making it hard to feel at ease. A quiet undercurrent of fear and overwhelm may linger just beneath the surface.
- A racing mind. When the nervous system senses distress, the mind often speeds up in an attempt to restore a sense of safety, leading to overthinking and rumination.
- Depression. A prolonged state of struggle might bring a perspective of hopelessness and losing touch with who you really are.
- Sleep disturbances. Like an inner watchdog being on high alert, sleep patterns get disrupted when the nervous system is in a state of continued arousal.
- Fatigue. It costs a lot of energy to inwardly manage all the feelings, symptoms, and expressions that were never meant to be ‘under control’.
If you want a quick way to be happy, just let yourself embrace your imperfection for a moment.
How can we free the one behind the mask?
First, by recognizing that your true self was never lost, only hidden. The patterns you’ve developed were once protective mechanisms, designed to shield you from harm and ensure your safety.
Second, by engaging in somatic work to process the patterns and emotions that feel heavy or resistant to change. This is where we use various modalities to support both the body and mind in unraveling old stories, tensions, and emotional charges—allowing what’s ready to be heard, seen, and transformed.
Third, by relating to yourself anew- from the truth of your being. Rather than treating yourself as an object to control or to conform, you allow yourself to be entirely natural. You can know yourself deeper and beyond the forms or labels you had taken on. This essential shift relaxes and liberates you from the inside out.
The nervous system at ease
- The polyvagal theory tells us that the nervous system uses a smart system of adaptive behavioral responses when it comes to social connectedness and navigating danger. Many people are familiar with the bodily response to fight, flight, and freeze. But a fourth and less common safety mechanism for staying safe is fawning.
- Fawning is a trauma response where you respond to people in a way that opposes your truth and appeases them instead.
“Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others.” – Pete Walker - Authenticity is the reverse response of fawning and a strong visceral cue for safety and connectedness. It communicates to your nervous system that you are okay. Often there is an initial barrier to move through which feels scary and vulnerable. Research has shown that when people feel more authentic in a particular situation, they exhibit lower stress, anxiety, and depression.
Our biggest allies are the ones that see our wholeness
while holding us in our moments of brokenness.
– Barbara Linde
My Modalities
Waking up out of the dream of self - deficiency
What does a session look like?
- Orientation: We begin by exploring your current situation, how you feel, and what is unfolding in your life.
- Depth Work: In a 45 minute deep dive, we work through underlying layers, using one or two modalities tailored to your needs.
- Integration: We conclude with a moment for integration—whether through mindful silence or reflection. There’s space for questions, and I may offer insights or exercises to support you beyond the session